


Follow what I say, not what my heart says

by Paindepice



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a movie I saw long ago, Cheating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jeonghan plays matchmaker, Lies, M/M, Minor Kim Mingyu/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Not Beta Read, Past Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Past Kim Mingyu/Boo Seungkwan, Sorry Not Sorry, Vernon is very cheesy sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26119984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paindepice/pseuds/Paindepice
Summary: Seungkwan expected no other answer than a no, because really, who in their right mind would actually say yes to faking being his boyfriend for half a week… It really was a stupid plan and he realized so as soon as it came out of his mouth, but Hansol looked at him just slightly surprised and not like he was completely insane.“Sure” Hansol replied, simple enough.Seungkwan looked at him like he was the crazy one.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 30
Kudos: 150





	1. Prologue

Seungkwan expected no other answer than a no, because really, who in their right mind would actually say yes to faking being his boyfriend for half a week… It really was a stupid plan and he realized so as soon as it came out of his mouth, but Hansol looked at him just slightly surprised and not like he was completely insane.  
Still when the silence dropped after Seungkwan finished his question, he still half expected the other to laugh at his face and say no.

Not that he knew Hansol that well, really, but that was the point, no one in his family would have suspected something if he bought someone that wasn’t in his friend circle.

And yet… yet, he was still doubting this stupid plan, and if he hurried maybe he could have said that if was just a joke and come unscathed out of this emarassing situation.

“Sure” Hansol replied, simple enough. Seungkwan looked at him like he was the crazy one.  
Hansol was just smiling, taking pity on him, most probably, gesturing for him to give him his phone so that they could exchange contacts.

***

To be fair, it wasn't his plan at all, it was Seokmin’s, he simply got tired one day of hearing how miserable Seungkwan was and he just proposed it.  
“Why don’t you bring someone with you then?” He said from the book he was clearly not reading, looking at Seungkwan like it was the best idea he came up with.

Seungkwan snorted “To my sister’s wedding? And show everyone, plus my ex, that I’m such a loser for bringing one of my friends with me?”  
Seokmin shook his head, tutting.  
“I mean, as your boyfriend”  
Seungkwan looked at his friend with a blank expression, his brain elaborating if he should take the advice.

It was also Jeonghan’s fault for proposing Hansol out of all people.

“He’s cool enough” he answered to Seungkwan’s blank stare.  
“I’m sorry who’s cool enough?” Asked Soonyoung, sitting one second after, coffee in one of his hands.  
“Hansol” answered Seokmin  
“Ah! Yea, he’s pretty cool” he agreed

“Am I missing something? Who is Hansol?” Seungkwan asked. Three pairs of eyes looked at him with varying degrees of worry.  
“Are you serious?” Asked Soonyoung, looking at him like he was the stupid one.  
“You met him, I can’t believe you actually forgot about the guy”  
Seungkwan still looked lost.  
“You TALKED TO HIM, during Joshua’s birthday party!” Soonyoung added, more and more exasperated. Jeonghan seemed to just feed on the boy’s frustration, slightly giggling, Seokmin just looked surprised, chewing on his breakfast.

Seungkwan tried to remember, Joshua’s birthday party was a few months prior, and besides his group of friends, there were only a few people that he didn’t know.  
Hansol must have been one of them, and Seungkwan recollected talking to a guy that night, but he was still moping about his break-up to actually give the conversation a chance.  
He did remember that after a few topics they both fell into a weird and embarrassing silence…

“Ah…” Recognition shone in his eyes, he cringed slightly at the memory, he was such a whiny mess that day and he did remember oversharing stuff about him and his ex, because of course he had to spill the beans on a complete stranger when they both were under the influence.  
“No” he answered, to Jeonghan’s proposition.  
The smile in his face fell “Eh? Why so?”  
“Did something happen?” Seokmin asked food still in his mouth.  
“Nothing really…”  
“Hansol did say you guys had a good chat, and he does ask about you every now and then, since you decided that you don’t want to hang out with us anymore” Jeonghan said, checking his phone  
Seungkwan rolled his eyes, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to, studies and family and just overall sadness over his long as fuck relationship ended bad made his days full…  
“I mean, alright if you are going to be such a little bitch about it, then I can come with you” Soonyoung muttered  
“Who said I want YOU to come?” Seungkwan joked, looking at the other boy, Soonyoung faked being offended at that.

“Did you know Mingyu has already someone else to bring to the wedding?” Everyone looked in Jeonghan’s direction, Seokmin and Soonyoung with an absolute stare of ‘don’t fucking open the can of worms’, Seungkwan with surprise in his eyes.  
“... How do you know that?” He asked after a bit of stunned silence looking in Jeonghan’s eyes, as if to understand if he was bluffing.  
The man showed him what he was watching on his phone.  
It was Mingyu’s instagram, a pretty picture of him laughing with another boy in his arms, held in an embrace that screamed happiness from every pore.  
Something old and forgotten broke further inside of him…  
And from the same pieces, a spark of fire rose, burning everything that was left there.

Fuck it then.

“How do I find Hansol?”

***  
So there he was, looking at Hansol’s phone number.

“It’s fine” Hansol said, making Seungkwan snap his head towards him.  
Ah yes, Seungkwan did say sorry. Unconsciously.  
“Are you sure?” Seungkwan pocketed his phone, the light breeze of spring made his bangs move.  
For how much he wanted Hansol to help him, he still couldn’t believe that this was happening.  
The other man nodded, no doubt in his eyes. Someone far away called for Hansol, and when they both turned around, Seungcheol was screaming at the top of his lungs, from the third floor, and then waving at them, in order to catch Hansol’s attention.

“Ah! I have to go, text me the details when you can” Hansol made a gesture as in ‘call me later’ and ran away, waving one last time in Seungkwan’s direction.

Then he was gone, leaving Seungkwan with one hand up and feeling like a complete fool now that the whole exchange was done.

Oh lord… Why did he even think that this was going to be a good idea...


	2. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan and Hansol meet up with his family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NO idea how SK’s sisters personalities are like irl, I don’t know them and I am too lazy to look up how they are like (it also feels weird to me to be actively looking for the member’s private lives, but anyways)
> 
> That said his sisters will have the personalities that fit better for the story’s sake, I hope that is not a problem for anyone ;^;
> 
> Also I forgot to mention that my first language is not English! I tried to make sure to have the least mistakes, but if you still find errors please let me know (just be polite about it, please ❤️)  
> That said, enjoy~!

Hansol was handsome, that much was clear to Seungkwan. If he had a face like his, he probably would have seen himself in the mirror at least ten times per day.

He wondered what exactly made him accept, because Seungkwan could not, for the life of him, find a reason.  
Sure, Jeonghan and Soonyoung did say that he was ok with pretty much anything, but that still didn’t explain much to him. He would have to fake being his boyfriend, and news flash, that included being touchy-feely towards each other.

Boo closed his book, unable to concentrate at all.  
Hansol looked at him, curious. The plane they were sitting in was flying them to Jeju already; he could not believe that they were going through with this plan.  
“Can I ask you something?” Hansol locked his phone, taking away the headphones from his ears, his attention now on Seungkwan.  
“Sure” he muttered  
“Why did your family invite your ex to your sister’s wedding?” Ah.

“Well, you see,” Seungkwan wet his lips with his tongue. “They like him a lot. He is that charming. And they know him since we were kids, he is practically part of the family now” he stopped himself from rambling, unlike at Joshua’s birthday party.  
“Ah,” Hansol nodded in acknowledgment, “And you are ok with that?”  
Seungkwan snorted, “Of course not. I didn’t even know until last week… Not that they kept that information voluntarily from me, I just didn’t think it was just an obvious move on their part.”  
“So, of course, the most logical move after you found out about it was to…”  
Seungkwan scowled at Hansol “And of course the most logical thing to answer to my request was yes.”  
“Chapeau” Hansol laughed, he relaxed on the small airplane seat.  
“I know I might sound annoying, but could we please repeat one last time what we are going to tell my family?” He looked at Hansol, uncertainty in his eyes, for how much Seungkwan was a nervous mess, Hasol was pretty much calm, not giving an inch into the nervousness.  
He looked at Seungkwan through half-closed eyes, completely relaxed, as if Seungkwan wasn’t vibrating because he WANTED those four days to work perfectly.

“What is it there to say, really? You met me during Joshua’s birthday party, I fell head over heels for you, and we are dating now” Hansol smiled again. Seungkwan could not hear a single ounce of sarcasm in his voice.  
“Ah… well, yes, that is pretty much it, I guess…” Seungkwan looked down at his hands, still tense.  
After a few seconds, he saw Hansol’s hand on his “Hey” Seungkwan looked back up at Hansol “This is going to work out, your family will see that you are happy and that you have friends that care for you.”  
He took a deep breath, then nodded.  
Hansol was right. 

He was happy, did have friends that loved him, and even though Seungkwan knew Hansol for relatively a short time, he had the feeling that he also, somehow, cared about him.  
Which was very sweet of him, considering that they were practically still strangers.  
“You’re right, thanks” Seungkwan smiled, somehow less nervous now that he knew that Hansol was not going to screw it up.

“Plus, you are a very talented and intelligent person, and your ex will regret the day he decided to break up with you.”  
Seungkwan snorted “Now, that sounded very patronizing.”  
Hansol looked vaguely hurt, but said nothing, both of them deciding on going back at what they were doing before their talk.

***

It was Seungkwan’s mom the first person Hansol would have to meet, Seungkwan was feeling all kinds of jittery, while holding his hand, because of course they already had concurred that it was ok for both of them to be all over each other. Seungkwan was just doubtful that maybe it wouldn’t have been awkward in some occasions.

But for now, his hand was warm, and Seungkwan was clinging to it as his life depended on it.  
“It’s going to be alright,” Hansol reassured him, leaning into him a little bit.  
He just nodded, licking his lips, trailing his luggage behind him.  
Both of them had just one small suitcase and a backpack, which was perfectly ok for just a three-day vacation, so why did he feel like it wasn’t still enough?

Once he caught sight of his mom, something swelled in his chest, it had been such a long time since he saw her, and he instinctively ran towards her, hugging her tightly, smiling. Her laugh was just as he remembered, nothing in her had changed, all in her felt like home.

It had been a long time.

Hansol caught up to them a few moments later. He pulled away from his mom, who was looking just as teary-eyed as Seungkwan. Hansol was smiling warmly, but bowed as soon as he got her attention. “Eomma, thanks for having me.”  
She smiled gracefully, bowing too.

She made no comments at all about the fact that Seungkwan seemed to have pulled a new boyfriend out of nothing, when Seungkwan made the proper presentations. And during the car ride, she asked just a few questions. Hansol didn’t seem the type of person to be good at small talk, but somehow he and his mom seemed to click unexpectedly.  
“I’m glad that Seungkwan found someone like you, I am so glad,” Hansol smiled warmly.

But for how much his mom was gentle and mostly kept herself from asking too many questions, he was quite sure his sisters would not have reserved him the same mercy.

He really, honestly, dreaded that.

***  
The Boo family was not rich, in any way possible, but his sister’s soon-to-be husband’s family was, so it came to no surprise that So-Jeong’s in-laws would pay for pretty much all of the wedding’s expenses.

That included them getting to have more get-togethers before the actual event, which Seungkwan wasn’t enthusiastic about. It also meant that they got to eat and drink for free, he didn't dislike the idea of that, though.

The walk towards his childhood home was quiet, but he could hear the voices coming from inside it, he could distinctly hear both his sister's voices, plus other people's. He grabbed Hansol's hand as soon as they got inside, his hand was steady, while Seungkwan was trembling, and very sweaty. 

Everyone was seated in the living area, it was a bit cramped and there was not enough space for all of them (which consisted of his sisters, his sister's groom, his parents and Seungkwan's aunt, not a big crowd, but it still made the place look smaller than it was).  
Still holding Hansol’s hand, Seungkwan bowed, his friend doing the same thing.  
So-Jeong and Jin-Seol both got up, hugging him tightly.  
“Kwannie! I missed you so much!” Said Jin-Seol, enthusiastically.  
“It has been so long since we all have been here” added So-Jeong, quietly, smiling brightly. Seungkwan really felt like crying, this felt familiar, and it bought so many memories, it was all so overwhelming.

Hansol squeezed his hand, almost as if he felt he was getting too caught up in his emotions. 

Ah, right, his boyfriend.

He looked back, Hansol was still standing behind him, smiling kindly. With him his sisters looked behind Seungkwan too, almost as if they didn’t notice the stranger that came in with Seungkwan.  
Granted he didn’t really tell them who his plus one was going to be, but by the surprise in their faces, he was fast to assume that they thought he would have bought one of his friends.

“So-Jeong, Jin-Seol, this is Chwe Hansol my boyfriend, Hansol these are my sisters” he tried to be as convincing as he could, by smiling brightly in Hansol’s direction when introducing him.  
That earned him a smile from Hansol, a blinding one.

Both his sisters looked stunned, but they bowed when Hansol said that it was a pleasure meeting them, keeping the flurry of questions for later, Seungkwan was sure of it.  
His mom came in to save him from a whole sitting of his sisters giving him the strangest of stares. “They just came from the airport, I’m sure they will need to get refreshed and ready for tonight” she held Seungkwan’s arm gently, a sign that they had to move, probably in order not to crowd the already crowded room.

“Have a nice evening” Seungkwan said to the group, bowing a second time, Hansol, ever the quiet one, bowed a third time.

They moved awkwardly up the stairs, following Seungkwan’s mom, to a small corridor that he knew led to his old bedroom.

“Seungkwan knows the way to his own room, I will leave you to get rested” his mom made to move away  
“Wait!” said Seungkwan in a sudden panic “Wait, I thought you would put us in separate rooms?”  
His mom looked at him with the strangest look, then laughed amused “You are not a teenager anymore, and I am not that old fashioned” she said, still laughing, then moving away and going down the stairs, leaving Seungkwan stunned.  
That was a fucking lie, everytime he would visit with Mingyu, his mom would deliberately put them in separate rooms, granted they were young when they started the relationship, but even when they became older, his mom had always that rule in her household.

That of course never stopped either of them from sneaking into the other’s room during the night.

“Not going as planned?” Asked Hansol behind him, stirring him from his thoughts.  
Seungkwan sighed, moving to open the door to his room.  
“It never goes as planned with my family” he muttered, turning the light on and letting Hansol in.  
His room looked just as he left it when he moved away from Jeju, not the room of a teenager, but he still could see a few embarrassing things scattered here and there. The most glaring was a plushie sitting pristinely on top of his bed.

“Cute” Hansol said behind him. Seungkwan turned around, glaring at him.  
Hansol raised his hands laughing lightly. “You seem to be enjoying seeing me in misery”  
“I just find it funny that you think everything would have gone just as you pictured in your head” Hansol shrugs, and god, Seungkwan never wanted to slap the stupid smile off his face like in that moment.  
“Since when are you this vicious?” Seungkwan moved closer to Hansol, pushing his index finger on his chest, accusatory.  
“I’m not vicious, you just have to take a moment to get to know me” Hansol winked, moving away, closing the argument.  
Seungkwan rolled his eyes.

“So who’s going to take a shower first?” Asked Seungkwan, putting his suitcase on a corner of his bedroom and pulling the backpack off his back. He stretched, it felt nice to finally be able to do that.  
“You can go first, I don’t mind waiting” Seungkwan looked at him “I don’t like the idea of you alone in my old room, I feel like you are the type of person that snoops around when bored”  
Hansol laughed, not bothering to deny his accusation, while Seungkwan moved to the bathroom.

Hansol leaned on the door frame “In that case I should get in with you, so you are sure I won’t look around”  
Seingkwan blushed but made an indignated noise, closing the door in Hansol’s face.  
All he heard from the other side was his laugh.

***

The place they were heading to was a nice restaurant that overlooked on the beach, Seungkwan enjoyed the drive there, looking out of the window, he thought how much he missed the view Jeju offered.  
Hansol at his side seemed to like the view too, leaning his chin into his shoulder, so that they both could watch out of the window calmly.  
“Enjoying the view?” Jin-Seol was looking at the through the rearview mirror, she wiggled her eyebrows when Seingkwan met her eyes.  
“Yeah, it’s beautiful, really” replied Hansol  
“They say Jeju has the best sunsets in the world” Seungkwan’s mom added to the conversation. “I agree, it truly is beautiful,” Seungkwan said, still looking out of the window.

“So, where are you from, Hansol?” Asked Jin-Seol  
Hansol looked at her as if he quite didn’t get what she meant “I am from Korea” he answered as simply as that.  
“His mom is American, but he grew up here in Korea,” added Seungkwan.  
His mom punched Jin-Seol in the arm, and that seemed to sooth down the tension that was growing up in the car. “Ouch!”  
“You have to excuse her, she can be kind of direct sometimes,” said Seungkwan’s mom.  
“It’s ok, there was no way you could have known” placated Hansol, while Jin-Seol lamented to her mom how much the punch hurt. Seungkwan mocked her, he was pretty sure that she didn’t get punched that hard.  
“Big baby” Seungkan muttered.  
“What did you say punk?” Jin-Seol turned around, faking being ready to fight her younger brother.  
“I said what I said,” answered Seungkwan.  
“Quiet down you two!” They both stopped, as if they were kids all over again.  
“Do you study or do you work Hansol?” Continued his sister  
“Both” he answered  
“Oh!” Jin-Seol sounded interested in his answer  
“What do you study?”  
“Psychology” he answered, to which Seungkwan tried not to act surprised at all, because damn, he really didn't look like the type to be studying that. He still looked out of the window, considering if he should participate more and save Hansol from his sister.

Luckily enough they were at their destination a few minutes into his dilemma.

Hansol came out first, helping Seungkwan out, smiling at him.  
“Thanks” he muttered, they bodies were flush against each other for a few seconds, Seungkwan tried to ignore how warm he felt against him. They separated after looking at each other in the eyes, hearing Jin-Seol fake gag.  
“Wow that is so disgustingly sweet” she said, walking to the restaurant with them. “How old are you?” Answered Seungkwan, glaring in her direction.  
“What did you say, punk?” It was a good thing not Hansol, nor Jin-Seol cared much about her keeping a sweet and neutral façade, because the next thing she did was to get Seungkwan into a headlock, pinching his cheeks as hard as she could.  
Hansol laughed, but still held his hand trough the torture.  
“Nothing!” Screamed Seungkwan in pain, walking the rest of the way massaging his cheek.  
“Big baby” Jin-Seol mocked him, just as he did in the car a few moments before.  
Hansol massaged the other cheek once they got to the others, Seungkwan just batted his hand away, slightly pouting.  
“Alright! Let’s get inside” exclaimed So-Jeong’s mother-in-law, a small lady that looked full of energy and happiness. She clapped her hands, and led the way inside, everyone following suit.

The dinner was unsurprisingly good, Seungkwan tried not to look at the prices in the menu, and he felt that Hansol tried to do the same, because he ended up ordering the same thing Seungkwan did, not even bothering opening his menu.  
It came to Seungkwan’s attention that while him and his sisters, and pretty much the rest of the table was talkative and comfortably conversingto each other, Hansol kept quiet most of the time, answering only when addressed, and for the rest just smiling, sitting as close as possible to Seungkwan.  
His sisters would wiggle their eyebrows, and in a particular occasion in which Hansol was answering to a question, Seungkwan and Ji-Seol locked eyes.  
She just mouthed “Handsome” to him, giving him the ok hand after that. Seungkwan decided to ignore her, rolling his eyes and laughing slightly.  
All in all the night flew by, leaving Seungkwan with a warm feeling in his chest, 

The ride back home was quiet, everyone was tired but content to let music from the radio play and fill in the silence, out of the window the streetlights illuminated enough for him to see the sea, dark and wild, the waves crashing loudly against the beach.  
Seungkwan had his head on Hansol’s shoulder, clearly tired, his body giving in the tiredness from the plane flight.  
Sure it was just a one hour flight, but the nervousness from the morning battered him the whole flight and ride home, leaving him exhausted.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, but somehow those seconds transformed into long minutes, because the second after he closed them, Hansol was lightly and gently waking him up.  
“Seungkwan, come on, we’re here” he was whispering into his hair.  
He blinked himself awake, gathering enough strength to get up, go inside and say goodnight to his sister and hug his mom one more time, before moving to his bedroom, Hansol right behind him, like a shadow.

The second they stepped into his bedroom, Seungkwan was suddenly very awake, remembering that they had to share one bed.  
They both looked at the bed like it held the answers to the universe.  
But Seungkwan was too tired to actually find a solution.  
“Just don’t hug me while I sleep” he muttered, throwing himself on the bed, not bothering to get changed, too tired to actually get comfortable.  
He drifted in and out of sleep, he was sure a few more minutes passed before he felt Hansol slip under the bedsheets.  
He turned off the lights, and at that, Seungkwan finally fell asleep.


	3. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet Mingyu, Mingyu meets them, Seungkwan meets someone else.
> 
> (Also it is a little bit angsty by the end of the chapter! I you don’t want that, you can stop by the line “I am glad too”)

Seungkwan woke up in the morning feeling a little bit more rested, he didn’t really remember waking up at all during the night, but somehow he had a blanket over himself that he was sure wasn’t there when he fell asleep. He got up, suddenly regretting the idea of not taking off his clothes from the night before, shirt and pants both clinging to him in uncomfortable ways.

He could feel that his hair was a mess, and that his face had “groggy” painted all over it, he did feel still half-asleep. He moved to the bathroom in order to clean himself up, but as soon as he tried to move the door handle, the door burst open and he found himself face to face with… a very toned chest.

Seungkwan looked at it as it held some kind of mystery. Why was that pair of specks talking?  
“Good morning” they said “Did you sleep well?” They asked.  
Seungkwan moved one hand to touch them, and when his fingers landed on them he noticed how cool the skin was.  
“Mh…” was Seungkwan’s answer

“... Seungkwan… ” that seemed to wake Seungkwan up from his daze, he snapped his head upwards, meeting up with Hansol’s eyes.  
“Morning” was all he could really say, embarrassed. Hansol seemed pretty much amused by the whole ordeal, which didn’t help with Seungkwan’s awkwardness.  
“Even though I don’t mind you touching me, I need to get dressed” Hansol said, and for a second Seungkwan couldn’t really understand what he was talking about, before he noticed that his hand was still on his chest.  
He moved his hand quickly moving aside from the door, Hansol was only wearing a pair of pajama pants and a towel around his neck, his hair wet from the shower.

Seungkwan stood by the door like a moron for a few seconds, trying to wake up and boot up his still asleep brain.  
Hansol turned his way, a question ready in his lips, only to be stopped by the slamming sound of the bathroom door being closed, for the second time in his face.

To say that he wanted to dig a hole and hide himself in it was an understatement for Seungkwan.

Yet, he actually had to get out again to get his clothes and a towel. He opened the door, stepped out awkwardly, took his things and before entering he said “I slept well, thanks for asking. I hope you slept well too”

Small mercy was that Hansol simply smiled at that, not really giving Seungkwan a way of telling if he was actually laughing on the inside about Seungkwan’s half-asleep shenanigans.  
He didn’t really want to think about it much, so he closed himself in the restroom again.  
It smelled faintly of shampoo and it was warm and steamy still, from the other man using the shower before him.

Seungkwan sighed, that was going to be one hell of a day.  
Especially because that day he would get to see Mingyu again. He wasn’t really enthusiastic about the idea, but at the same time he wanted to slap in his stupid face how happy he was without him. 

… He wasn’t really, it had gotten quite lonely to be by himself, and it was getting tiring thinking about how things could have gone differently, god... how ridiculous… To think it already was a year since they broke up, and Seungkwan was still holding himself up as best as he could because his heart was still hurt from that… 

Kim Mingyu was an angel to many, but god, how cruel had he been to just break up with him in the fastest of ways.

(“I can’t be with you Seungkwan, not anymore, I can’t do this to you” and then he left bringing with himself Seungkwan’s broken heart, how cold… How cold)

He finished the shower quickly, pulling himself together, repeating to himself that everything would have turned out for the best.

When he came out the restroom, freshly showered, and with hair that smelled of lavender, he felt slightly better about himself, like he shed something old under the shower and a new Seungkwan came out of the chrysalis, he felt at peace with the world and for once he didn’t have to be the usual over criticising boy everyone knew.

That lasted for about 10 seconds, right after he saw what Hansol was wearing.

Not that he was dressed badly, he actually seemed to clean up well when he needed to (god, he remembered how he was dressed for Joshua’s birthday), but… 

“Are you serious?” He asked, annoyed. Hansol’s eyes moved from his phone, looking at Seungkwan, confused as to what exactly he was talking about.  
Seungkwan moved a finger, pointing at Hansol and then at himself.  
“It looks like my necktie has been cut from your shirt! Look at this!” He walked closer, actually putting the necktie on Hansol’s shirt, the two colors matched perfectly.  
Hansol muttered a “wow”, genuinely surprised that they managed to match even without thinking about it.  
“I can’t, I have to look for another whole outfit, ugh” Seungkwan pulled away from Hansol, and moved to his clothes in the baggage on the floor.  
“To be fair it would give us more credibility” Hansol got up from the bed, crouching right beside Seungkwan. The latter looked at Hansol.

“No way, we would look like the couple that tries too hard”  
“In reality we didn’t even try, though”  
“What’s your point?” Seungkwan stopped looking for a new outfit, somewhere in the mess his and Hansol’s fingers met.  
“Maybe we are soulmates and this is a sign from the universe, I mean, what are the odds?” Hansol said, very seriously, looking Seungkwan in the eyes.  
“Stop joking” Seingkwan rolled his eyes, sighing. He batted Hansol’s hand away, finally finding something else to wear.  
Yet again something in the way Hansol was staring at him seemed to make him feel… wanted. Which he didn’t really want to talk about.

“So?” Seungkwan walked out of the restroom, asking for Hansol’s opinion on his clothes. He walked around, spun, and looked at Hansol over his shoulder.  
His eyes trailer over his back, they stopped at his butt for longer than a few seconds, and then he cleared his throat.  
“Yeah, you look good,” he said, his verdict not being enough for Seungkwan.  
“Good? How good? ‘God I wish I never broke up with you’ good or ‘oh look those jeans are cool’ good?” He asked, his mind already thinking about what to look for if that outfit was not enough.

Hansol grumbled, Seungkwan turned around “What? Do I look that bad?” He asked, suddenly self-conscious  
“No! Really, trust me, you look very good” Hansol jumped from the bed, stopping Seungkwan in his tracks, something like panic painted in his face.  
“... I’m just conflicted” he continued  
“How so? You only have one job, and that is to reassure me that continuing this fake relationship thing is not a completly idiotic idea” Seungkwan looked Hansol in the eyes, the other adverted his. For how much Hansol liked to look at him in the eyes, that was probably the worst moment to start not doing that.  
“...” Seungkwan gave him one more chance to talk, he could see the gears turning in his head, probably not used to someone like Seungkwan at all.  
“Argh” Hansol cringed, frustrated, he passed his fingers through his hair. He gripped Seungkwan’s shoulders, delicately. “Seungkwan, you look great, I wish I had the words to tell you how exactly seeing you in those pants make me feel, but I don’t want to sound creepy or sleazy, so just please, take my word for it.” Hansol sighed.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, Seungkwan’s brain ruminating on what he just heard. At the end of it all a blush slowly creeped its way in his face.

Damn, ok. “Thanks for the compliment” was all he could mutter, before a quick knock at his door surprised both of them.

“Kwannie! Breakfast is ready, both of you have to be decent in five minutes tops!” His sister’s voice came from the other side of the door, the sound of her footsteps disappeared when she reached the stairs.

With that interruption they both decided that it was time to just get out and ignore whatever that interaction was.

Breakfast was fine enough, Seungkwan and Hansol quickly forgot the whole awkward interaction they had in the morning, instead having a great conversation with Seungkwan’s mother and sister. 

Lunch was going to be the moment of truth, Seungkwan thought, once they were in the car again. He checked his phone nervously, the hour on the lock screen said that it was 1:45 pm.

Hansol leaned against him, probably feeling hiw nervous Seungkwan was.  
“Let’s take a selfie,” he said, his phone in his hand. Jin-Seol snorted, ready for what Seungkwan’s answer was going to be “Seriously? The light in the car is bad for a selfie, you should have waited for when the sun sets” he muttered.  
Yet he leaned against Hansol’s shoulder, ready to take a picture with him.  
They took two, before the car slowed down, close to their destination already.

“Are you going to put them on Instagram?” He asked, once they were all out of the car. Hansol nodded, smiling and already on his phone.  
“Please choose a decent filter for it, or none at all” Seungkwan said dramatically, walking faster to catch up with his sister.

A few steps further there was a bar, they had rented out the place, and a lot of people were joining in, most of them faces that Seungkwan didn’t recognize at all, sure that they were all from the groom’s side.  
“Oh wow, we are being outnumbered,” Jin-Seol said, stopping a few steps from the entrance  
“And here I thought our family was big,” His mom continued.  
Vernon joined them in contemplation, both surprised and in awe. 

“How are we going to find your sister?” Hansol asked, after a few seconds of silence.  
“No other way to find out than to go inside!” Sungkwan said, pushing them all towards the door.

***  
He lost Hansol, they were both looking at the buffet and then his grasp on his hand loosened, and then, poof, Hansol was gone. He had looked over the gigantic amount of heads in the big room, but to no avail, Hansol was gone, who knows where.

Drinking from his glass by the bar, he hoped that that common ground was enough for Hansol to find him. He looked around again, checking if by the big crowd he could at least recognize his mother or one of his sisters.  
But nope. No such luck.

Instead, he passed most of his time talking with cousins he didn’t see since he was in middle school. They all somehow stopped by the bar, one after the other recognising him, and hugging him. It was very refreshing to see that they were all grown up, some of then even already had kids of their own. 

Once the buzz of this or that family member seeing him and hugging him and talking about old times, Seungkwan sat, munched on an olive and drank from his glass again. It was starting to get late, time passed so quickly, and yet no sign of Hansol was to be seen. Damn, he was starting to get worried.

The voices around him were all a garbled mess, but it was invigorating to actually chat and catch up with everyone. He felt like the time traveler's wife, since he had been out of Jeju for five years already, and everyone stayed or moved to Seoul but didn’t bother to keep in touch. A lot of faces changed, a lot of lives were completely different since he was in Jeju, and now his younger sister was getting married.

“Seungkwan?” 

Oh.

Oh god.

His brain immediately knew whose voice was the one that was calling his name.  
His heartbeat was fast, hammering in his chest.  
Oh god he was not ready, and where was Hansol?  
He turned around, and there he was Kim Mingyu in all his tall glory. Beaming at him like an overgrown puppy, like he didn’t break Seungkwan’s heart to pieces.  
“Mingyu! Hi…” he managed to say after a few seconds of his lips moving soundless.  
“Oh my gosh, hi!” Mingyu repeated, overly happy, overly friendly. He made to hug him, probably out of habit, but he didn’t touch him, he just stood there with his big arms open.

Where the hell was Hansol??

“... Hi” he repeated again, stupidly, his brain was racing miles per hour, actually thinking of something else to say, but miserably failing at doing that.  
Mingyu smiled at him “How are you been doing?”  
‘After you left me for an unknown reason?’ He thought “Just peachy” he said between his teeth, still smiling because, dammit, he would not lose his cool at the most critical moment.

Where. Was. Hansol?

Mingyu nodded, air tense between them “I actually was so excited to know you were here” he said  
“At my sister’s wedding? Not even the end of the world would have stopped me from coming!” He screeched, his voice high.  
Not even his ex showing up would have stopped him, really. Even if it meant looking at Mingyu in the eyes and lying about his current situation.  
“... I actually wanted to tal-“

“Ah! There you are!” A set of arms hugged Seungkwan from behind, a pair of warm lips pecked his cheek, and for a second Seungkwan indulged himself to enjoy the affectionate gesture, even if it was fake.  
Seungkwan relaxed against Hansol’s chest, all of the tension in his shoulders gone, once his prayers for Hansol to save him from that situation were answered.  
Then Seungkwan looked at him, smiling. The picture perfect image of an enamoured boyfriend was looking back at him.  
“Hi,” Seungkwan said, voice sweet as honey.  
“I’m sorry, I lost sight of you, and then your sister insisted on me meeting the rest of your family” Hansol said against his forehead, another peck landed there.  
Seungkwan closed his eyes, that was… The greatest thing ever.  
“It’s ok, really” he said again, voice shy, and sweet and so relaxed.  
Someone cleared their throat, and suddenly Seugkwan remembered that they were actually putting on a show for a very specific audience. 

“Oh, ah. Ahahah, sorry” Seungkwan looked in Mingyu’s direction, the other man simply smiled, standing awkwardly in front of them, but still somehow beaming happily.  
“Hansol, this is Kim Mingyu, my ex-boyfriend. Mingyu, this is Chwe Hansol, my current boyfriend” he felt so weird pronouncing those words! It somehow made him giddy.  
They both bowed slightly, Hansol still had Seungkwan in his arms, so when he did the gesture, he had to follow Hansol.

They did not shake hands. 

“I don’t want to intrude, I will be seeing you around Seungkwan!” Mingyu bowed one last time, before waving his goodbyes, like he was in a damn hurry to be anywhere else than right there.  
Once he was gone from his peripherals, Seungkwan turned around.  
“You saved my goddamn life back there,” he said, a serious expression painted on his face. Hansol giggled “I could tell, your back looked so tense when I got closer, so I imagined that he must have been Mingyu”  
“That was… a good act!” Seungkwan took his glass and drank a sip from it. He suddenly felt buzzing with energy again.

Hansol just looked at him, smiling.  
“Do you want a drink?” Seungkwan asked, holding the glass in Hansol’s direction. He nodded, took the drink from his hands, and took a small sip from it.  
“Do you know what they say about two people sharing the same drink?” Hansol asked, once Seungkwan drank from it again.  
“That there’s the possibility for both of us to get sick in the next few days?” Seungkwan sipped the last bit of liquid that was in his glass  
Hansol laughed “That we might have indirectly kissed now, so from now on it’s just fair play if I kiss you” he winked, Seungkwan scoffed  
“That was so fucking cheesy. And also what are you? Twelve?” They both laughed at that, comfortable with each other.

Hansol tilted his head towards the big patio, where less people seemed to be "Do you mind going out for some fresh hair?"  
Seungkwan nodded, it was a good idea after all.  
Seungkwan held Hansol's hand, making sure not to let go, lest to be separated again.

When they got out the sun colored everything in the golden light of the evening, it was still warm, but the breeze from the sea did not let it be too overwhelming.  
"How are you feeling now?" Hansol asked, looking at Seungkwan.  
"Like I could run a marathon and not feel tired at all" Seungkwan looked around them, the patio had a few tables, some of them were occupied by people talking, some were free, but he didn't really feel like sitting.  
"Ahah… That's a good sign" Hansol casually pat his shoulder, leaving his hand to linger there for a few more seconds.  
"It's a pity that I am not getting enough time with So-Jeong, but she is getting married, I'm sure she must be busy" He cast his eyes downwards, still smiling.  
He wanted to have some more time with his sister, before she would get married and leave Jeju and her old life behind her back.  
"We still have two more days, I'm sure you will get your occasion to be with her" Hansol consoled him.  
"... I don't think I have thanked you, for what you are doing right now" Seungkwan looked at Hansol, the sun made his eyes gleam, like golden honey, and his light brown hair seemed almost blonde under those sun rays.  
"... Don't worry about it" Hansol looked away, his gaze miles away from there for a second, like he wanted to say something else, but stopped himself from doing so.

From inside, someone started talking, calling all of the guests attention. They both walked back, in silence.

So-Jeong's mother in law was talking, they found out, on a microphone graciously given to her by the owners.  
"Hello everyone, thanks for being here for my son's special day" she clutched a hand to her chest, the soon-to-be groom looked around embarrassed, So-Jeong, who was right beside him, giggled.  
"It is always nice to know that events like these bring so many people here, not only for the two people getting married, but also… It can bring families back together, and it can bring new faces!" She held a flute in her hand, Seungkwan took that as a sign for him to look for a waiter and get two flutes for him and Hansol. It took him a few minutes, he prayed that he would not lose Hansol yet again.

In his search for the waiter, he stumbled on a very familiar back.  
Mingyu turned around, beaming at him once his eyes landed on Seungkwan.  
"Hi again!" he said  
"Hi." Seungkwan answered.  
Great. Now he was stuck talking to Mingyu again.  
"Seungkwan, let me introduce you"  
Oh fuck.

"This is Lee Jihoon, my boyfriend"  
FUCK.  
"Uhm… Jihoon, this is Boo Seungkwan"  
Seungkwan noticed that he didn't specify what his relationship to him was.  
He hated that he noticed.

Jihoon bowed, his eyes and his smile were the prettiest thing he had seen. Goddammit.  
"Hi" Seungkwan said, awkwardly.  
The three of them fell into silence.  
"I, uhm, I was looking for the waiter, for the toast, I need two flutes" he said, sounding like a complete moron.  
Jihoon, being the absolute worst, actually gave Mingyu his flute, in order to go look for the waiter himself.  
"Let me help you," he said.  
It took him just a few seconds, coming back triumphantly with two flutes in his hands and giving them to Seungkwan.

Damn, even his hands were pretty.  
"Thanks" Seungkwan said, bowing again.  
"No problem"  
"Uh… Uh… I'll go, thanks again!" And just like that he left, feeling like a worm for trying so hard to hate Jihoon, when in those few seconds they interacted, he had been the kindest person ever.

Goddammit Mingyu.

He found Hansol pretty easily, the man didn't even notice he had left, still looking up at So-Jeong's mother-in-law, listening attentively at her stories about when she got married.  
He gave Hansol the flute, he thanked, enraptured in what the woman was saying.  
"... And for that… I am so thankful that So-Jeong will become my daughter in law, she is the sweetest, kindest, young lady I have ever met." She held So-Jeong's hand looking at her in the most motherly way she could have.  
Then she held up the flute, everyone else in the room doing the same. "To the grooms!" She said, and they all toasted with her.

***  
It was all uneventful after that, beside Seungkwan drinking more of the champagne, and some more from the bar, because he was feeling devastated and tired, absolutely battered from that day.  
Luckily Hansol was there to stop him from drinking himself silly.  
"I don't want to drag you back to the car," he explained, smiling.

Somewhere along the way they met his sister and his mom, and they all decided it was time to leave.  
Not before stopping to hug So-Jeong, though.

Seungkwan was smothering his sister with hugs, which she just laughed off, hugging him too.  
"Did you let him drink?" He heard Jin-Seol ask Hansol.  
"He gets extra clingy when he gets drunk, you might want to sleep in another room because I'm sure he won't let you rest tonight," she explained.  
"I guess I'll just have to make the sacrifice," Hansol replied.

In the end Hansol carried Seungkwan on his shoulders to the car, seeing how unstable he was on his own feet. And then when they got home, he carried him back upstairs, Seungkwan not one bit uncomfortable about how much contact he had had with Hansol.

In the room, Hansol tried to put Seungkwan on the bed in the most delicate way possible, but it still creaked dangerously when Seungkwan landed on it. He felt like dead weight on it.

"Aren't you tired?" He slurred, when Hansol was taking off his shoes.  
"You don't have to play the part of the devoted boyfriend now" He added, when both his shoes were gone, and Hansol laid down beside him.  
"I know"  
They looked at the ceiling in silence.  
"Why did you say yes?" Seungkwan asked. That question was bothering him so much in the past few days, and he couldn't work the courage to ask Hansol, because he was scared of the answer. But now his muscles felt like molasses, and his head was swimming in a drunk haze, so he could ask the questions sober Seungkwan couldn't.  
"You sounded…"  
"Desperate?"  
"Hopeful, there was hope in your voice. So I just… I said yes." Hansol concluded.

"Why me?" Seemingly it was Hansol's turn to ask something.  
"Jeonghan told me you would have accepted" Seungkwan answered  
"I see…" something in Hansol's voice sounded off, he made to get up, but Seungkqan stopped him before he could move further.  
"I am… I am glad you said yes. To be totally honest with you, you are being the perfect fake boyfriend" Seungkwan said, a slow smile spread in Hansol's face.  
"I am glad too"

After that they both got ready for bed, 

Senungkwan slipped beside him underneath the bed covers.  
He turned his back on Hansol, and turned off the light on the little bedside table.  
They were quiet for a few moments, both trying to fall asleep.  
Hansol succeeded, Seungkwan was still too shaken from what happened that day.

His sister was getting married... Mingyu… Jihoon… This whole fake relationship… His family... Damn… him being drunk meant that he was also pretty easy on the tears.

He tried to be as quiet as possible, but Hansol's fucking sixth sense kicked in, he stirred awake and it took him nothing to understand that he was crying.

"Do you- Do you mind if I hug you?" Seungkwan asked, hiccuping, his hand on Hansol's warm arm.  
It was an absurd question, one that was met with a tight hug around his body as soon as he was done talking.  
Seungkwan cried some more, burying his face in his neck, crying like a fucking baby.  
Hansol said nothing, he just tried to lull him to sleep, his face buried in his hair.

"I'm sorry" Seungkwan croaked, Hansol's shoulder was wet, and Seungkwan felt horrible and tired and sad, and so overwhelmed by all of those emotions.  
"It's ok" Hansol reassured him, gently rubbing his back.

It took him some more sorrys to actually fall asleep, he felt better, like that, with the reassurance that Hansol was there for him, even for only those four days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaah, this chapter was supposed to be fluffy and happy and somewhere along the way my lizard brain just... It did what it did ;^;
> 
> Also!!! Thank you so much for the support, I am very shy and I can’t answer personally to each one of you, but!!! I am thankful for your comments! I love you all ❤️ Thank you again ❤️ I will try and come out of my shell more, so that I can actually answer to all of you!


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3

Hansol didn’t mention what happened the night before, and because he was embarrassed, Seungkwan stopped himself from saying anything about it either.

When they woke up the air between them was… different. Hansol didn’t say a word while they got ready, and Seungkwan was hesitant in initiating a conversation… The whole morning Hansol was more quiet than usual, but still courteous and happy to answer if someone asked him something, which didn't help Seungkwan at all to figure out what was wrong but...

There was this look on his eyes, like an idea was simmering in his head, like something was blooming and growing and developing there. What, Seungkwan had no idea.  
Still, the silence grew, distancing the both of them, for completely different reasons.

Somehow his sister caught up in the general mood that was floating around them, looking at Seungkwan with a raised eyebrow, from the other side of the table.  
Seungkwan took a sip from the wine glass that was in his hand, smiling at her, ignoring how she rolled her eyes annoyed at how quickly he diverged from her stare.  
Around them everyone was laughing, about something in the groom’s childhood.  
Seungkwan laughed because he wanted to still fake being concentrated on what was being told.

For being an old Korean couple, the groom’s parents seemed to enjoy a less traditional way of celebrating the soon to be wedding. Their days have been filled with dinners and parties, and that day was no different, with them having lunch in a pretty expensive looking restaurant, in a big table that hosted 12 people.  
It may have looked like a small group considering how many people were present the day prior, but to Seungkwan that table felt like the smallest thing ever.  
Especially because Mingyu and Jihoon were there… It was no surprise, really, but it felt… weird.  
On one side, Jihoon was not as Seungkwan had pictured him to be, even though he was a gentle soul, he would not let slide one single thing from his eyes. That also meant that Jihoon was catching up onto whatever was that Mingyu was thinking about. He could catch Seungkwan’s stare too, mostly confused, but answering with a gentle smile and a raise of his wine glass.

 _Smooth_.

Seungkwan sipped from his glass again, not really knowing what to do with himself. That was such an alien feeling to him, feeling like a stranger in his own skin.

“Oh I have a story!” Jin-Seol said after drinking some of her own wine, eleven pairs of eyes turned in her direction, the attention on her.  
“It’s from So-Jeong’s childhood!” She winked in Seungkwan’s direction, before starting the story.

“So-Jeong and Seungkwan have always been like two peas in a pod, literally inseparable! Never had an argument, because they were both busy conspiring against me, the older one.”  
Seungkwan’s mom laughed “That’s true, they would plan out how to make her leave her room so that they could sneak in and steal whatever she had that they wanted”

“That’s only because she always had the best dresses, I would convince Seungkwan to help me because you would never lend me one” So-Jeong added  
“And the dresses never fit you in the end, so I would end up being the one to pay for it” Said Seungkwan

“You guys just proved my point! In any case...” Jin-Seol looked at the both of them “All was good in their alliance until-“  
Seungkwan groaned, he knew where this was going, So-Jeong did too, already covering her face in embarrassment.  
“In middle school they both ended falling for the same kid, a certain Kihoon" Mingyu laughed, because of course he recognized the name.  
"This is not childhood, this is already adolescence, you liar!" So-Jeong exclaimed, red as a pepper.  
"Whatever! One day our mom gets a call from school, Seungkwan and So-Jeong were called out because they pushed another student down the stairs. Mom was so worried her kids became suddenly bullies, and when she came back she was so pissed with them. What happened was that So-Jeong and Seungkwan were screaming at each other by the stairs, no one had heard of the commotion apart from Kihoon, who was at the bottom of the stairs and was running to stop them, that was when both Seungkwan and So-Jeong moved their arms and hit poor Kihoon on the face. Who ended up falling down the stairs!” The whole table but Seungkwan’s mom gasped, in surprise. Jin-Seol somehow found that funny, and in context it was for her, since she knew Seungkwan and So-Jeong would never hurt a fly intentionally, but the rest of the people were strangers and didn’t really get what was funny about that.

“Is he still alive?” Asked Mingyu as the silence filled in, in mock surprise, after some tense seconds the whole table laughed saving Jin-Seol from total embarrassment.

“You know he is” Seungkwan rolled his eyes, Mingyu just smiled his way and winked while laughing.  
Behind him Hansol shifted in his seat, like he saw the gesture and didn’t really like it. Seungkwan tried not to think much about that, but he did feel a dark stare that went right over his head and towards Mingyu.

More stories filled in, and when they almost were done with their lunch, Seungkwan excused himself to the restroom.

The place was cozy but huge, and the restroom was full of warm tones and expensive looking sinks, and smelled great for being a restroom.

He didn’t really feel like doing much, he was just overwhelmed again and needed some space, but again, he would have to go back in a few minutes.  
He washed his hands, just to do something and stop his wandering mind.

That was when someone else entered the restroom, from the mirror Seungkwan could see Mingyu staring back at him.

Seungkwan offered him a tight lipped smile.  
“Hi” Mingyu sounded breathless, like he had run a marathon, he closed the door behind him and approached Seungkwan.  
He looked shifty.  
“Hi” Seungkwan dried his hands, ready to leave, shoulder brushing with Mingyu’s arm when he moved by his side and over.

His hand was already on the handle of the door when Mingyu called out for him again.  
“Seungkwan”

He didn’t know why he stopped, but he did, he turned around, expression blank.  
“Yes?”  
 _Say you’re sorry_ , his head suggested.  
“I want to talk to you for a second, and…”  
 _Say that you feel like shit for breaking up with me_  
“And…” It was almost as if Mingyu could not find the words to tell him whatever it was that he was going to say.  
“Just say it” Seungkwan said, suddenly exhausted, Mingyu looked at him, wide-eyed.  
“I get it, Jihoon doesn’t have to know we were together” Seungkwan smiled, but it felt empty, not true. He wasn’t being sincere and they both knew it.  
“Ah…” relief seemed to wash over Mingyu “No… It’s not about that…” Mingyu smiled, somehow the idea of Jihoon made him smile sweetly. Like he really truly loved him.  
It made Seungkwan fucking lose his patience.

“Isn’t it? Isn’t this why you came here? To have closure? To finally be at peace with yourself?” Seungkwan got closer, Mingyu looked confused, but also something, something, seemed to be tearing him up from the inside.  
“No… Seungkwan… Listen… I’m sorry-“  
“You don’t get to be sorry! I hate this! I hate being in the same room with you and having to look you in the eyes and still wonder what did I do wrong to just be thrown away like all the years we were together meant nothing to you! And then you have the audacity to present yourself here and flaunt around how happy you are with someone else!”  
Mingyu looked conflicted, their eyes met again.  
“I don't get it… You get to do the same thing!”  
“That is not the point!”

But that was the point, wasn’t it? He was happy with Hansol, he was comfortable and felt safe with Hansol, and yet everything would turn back to nothing once they would get back to Seoul.  
Everything was a lie and Mingyu of course didn’t know that, but Seungkwan did, and he was so jealous that he got to keep Jihoon, while Seungkwan would have to pretend to not know Hansol once they were back.

“... Yes I do, but that doesn’t mean you get to be here and pretend nothing happened between us and lie about it to Jihoon, you dick!” Seungkwan pushed Mingyu, his back hit the edge of the sink.  
“You are such an ass” Seungkwan muttered, rage in his eyes.  
Mingyu stared to the side, jaw clenched, visibly frustrated.  
Seungkwan was so ready to fight this man, he was so ready to just punch him in the jaw and for once taint something in Mingyu’s perfect existence, but Mingyu was faster, he jumped towards Seungkwan, taking ahold his shoulders, scaring the living shit out of him.

“I know that! You have no idea how guilty I feel, for everything! I am so sorry Seungkwan. But I really need to talk to you, right now, please”

“Fuck you! I don’t want your apologies, you had an entire year to say something, and you did nothing!” Seungkwan tried to move away from Mingyu’s hold, to no avail.  
“Seungkwan! Please!” Mingyu sounded more and more desperate, almost to the point of tears, and when things seemed to be ready to spiral out of control, that was when the door opened again.  
Both Mingyu and Seungkwan looked at the door, in surprise, as if they forgot that anyone could have walked in their argument at any given moment.

Hansol looked at them, from the initial surprise that was painted in his face, it shifted to something darker.

“Let me go, Mingyu” Seungkwan whispered, he put a hand in his chest, and he pushed, this time Mingyu took one step away, as if woken up from a delirious haze.  
“Is something wrong?” Hansol’s voice came from behind them, tense and low. Seungkwan didn’t turn around, but he shook his head. He turned around, smiling.  
“Nothing wrong” he said, walking towards Hansol. Hansol looked at Mingyu for a few more seconds, a dark expression on his face, but turned towards Seungkwan when he touched his arm.  
“Let’s go,” Seungkwan said, trailing Hansol away from the restroom door.

“What was that about?” Hansol stopped following Seungkwan after they reached the exit door.  
Seungkan stopped too, but didn’t turn around.  
“It was nothing”  
“I don’t believe you”  
“What does it matter?” Seungkwan’s voice was exasperated, he turned around to find Hansol looking at him. He seemed…worried.  
“Don’t give me that look…” Seungkwan hid his face underneath his bangs, he didn’t want to see anymore.  
“Seungkwan…” Hansol moved closer, his arms wrapped so easily around Seungkwan.  
He hugged him back, burying his face in Hansol’s shoulder.  
“... You don’t have to tell me, but I would appreciate it if you trusted me to confide in me if you don’t feel good… I know it’s a lot, I understand this, but I can’t follow you into your mind, Seungkwan. I want to understand you better, but I don’t read minds.” Hansol’s voice was calm, low, barely a whisper. Seungkwan closed his eyes, relaxing again.  
“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan said back.

“You have nothing to be sorry for” was Hansol’s answer. And somehow, that made Seungkwan feel less shitty about himself.

***

“Can you explain to me why was I invited to this?” Seungkwan asked, looking at the inside of the bar.  
Hansol shrugged, holding Seungkwan’s hand, looking in the same direction as him “I would love to give you an answer, but I’m not your sister”  
Seungkwan sighed “Well… have fun, I’ll see you in a few hours”  
Hansol smiled, warm and lovely “You too… try not to drink too much”  
Seungkwan waved away Hansol “Aish, I won’t, now go before they leave you behind”  
On the street a car was waiting for Hansol, no doubt it would lead him to another bar, with the other guests. He confided in the fact that Hansol would not drink, and if he did he seemed like the type of person that was able to hold his liquor well.

Seungkwan waved a second time, Hansol waved back, and then, as soon as he opened the door, music blasted in his ears.

The place was sleek looking, with a long bar that already had a barista working up cocktails to all of the clients requests.  
A pair of arms assaulted him as soon as he got inside.  
“Heeeeey!” So-Jeong’s voice came, happy and warm and already a little bit slurred.  
“Hey!” Seungkwan answered, hugging her back, tightly.  
His sister laughed “I’m glad you came!”  
Looking around Seungkwan noticed two things, one that everyone was already drinking, and two that there he was the only man, besides the barista, in the entire place.  
The women in the place were all people that Seungkwan recognized, though, they were So-Jeong’s friends, which meant that they were also Seungkwan’s by extension.

Everyone greeted him with large smiles and an elated expression, they were all oh so happy to see him again. And Seungkwan could not stop himself from beaming at them, some faces brought back a lot of memories.  
“Here!” Jin-Seol said, shoving a drink in his hands.  
Seungkan glared at the glass in his hands, then took a sip, when he bought his eyes back up, everyone was looking at him.  
“What?” He asked, confused. Why was he at the center of attention now?  
“Well, we wanted to know something,” So-Jeol said, sitting closer to Seungkwan.  
“What?” Repeated Seungkwan, even more confused. The other women smiled, in the same dangerous manner as his sisters.  
"Tell us about your new boyfriend" Jin-Seol exclaimed.  
Oh. Oh right, that was the moment they were all waiting for.  
"Ahaha…" Seungkwan laughed nervously, taking a big gulp from his drink.  
"Come on Kwannie! We can see how he looks at you! He literally adores the ground you walk on! And he is so sweet and so gentle with you!” So-Jeong said.  
Did he? Wow… Hansol must have been amazing at fooling everyone. Or… he shut the idea before it could blossom in his head.  
For how much he wanted it to be true, he could not let himself go that way.

"How did you guys meet?" Jin-Seol asked, poking at Seungkwan's sides.  
"At a mutual friend's birthday party"  
His sisters nodded, a signal that he had to continue.  
"We talked, and pretty much that's it" Seungkwan shrugged.  
"Ugh, this is boring" Jin-Seol said "At least tell us if he is…" she wriggled her eyebrows "you know… Good in-"  
"Oh shut up! I'm not answering that question!" Seungkwan said, his face turning a bright shade of red.  
"Spoilsport" Jin-Seol muttered.

The rest of the evening was fun, Seungkwan was cautious not to drink too much, while his sisters got more and more wasted by the second, both of them exclaiming how much they loved him and much they had missed him at various stages of drunkness.  
To be fair, Seungkwan missed them too, so he went with it because he really needed a hug, or two, or three from them.

At the end of the night, they were all pretty much gone, even Seungkwan, maybe less than the others, but he was in that stage where he was just on the edge of being wasted but still had his own clarity of mind.

When they got home, Seungkwan helped Jin-Seol to her own room first, while she was a laughing mess and kept stumbling here and there.  
Seungkwan helped her on the bed, took off her shoes, and left a glass of water on her bedside table.  
"Seunkwannie" she muttered from the bed, he got closer again.  
"I know you don't want to talk about it at all, but I'm so sorry for not telling you about Mingyu"  
She rolled on the bed, Seungkwan smiled at her "It's ok, I know you guys didn't mean it. And I know it's hard… being in the middle of the two of us… Especially since we all grew up together…”

The four of them were inseparable, and it felt like a natural step for him and Mingyu to be together, not even one person in his family was surprised when they said they were a couple.  
Jin-Seol and So-Jeong loved Mingyu as a big brother themselves, and he could see why it must have been awkward for them to cut ties with him.  
So Seungkwan just… shut off. If his family wanted to talk with Mingyu that was fine, he just didn’t want to hear from them that he was happy and he was in abetter situation than him.  
Ah… He had been such a miserable egoistic asshole to his family, hadn’t he?  
“I love you Seungkwannie” Jin-Seol said, holding his hand “Don’t disappear like that next time…”  
Seungkwan nodded “I won’t, I promise”  
“Now go to your perfect boyfriend, and give him a kiss for me”  
“You’re weird” Seungkwan laughed  
“You are weirder” Jin-Seol whispered, her eyes looked glassy and tired.  
Seungkwan walked away, after giving her another hug.

Trying to make the less noise possible, he climbed up the stairs, to his own room.  
The light from inside was on, so he guessed that Hansol wasn't asleep yet.

He opened the door slowly, went inside and closed it quietly.  
"Welcome back," Hansol was on the bed, his phone in his hand, yet again. He was smiling at Seungkwan like… like…

" _Like he adores the ground you walk on_ "

Maybe… Could Seungkwan indulge himself in believing that Hansol did feel what everyone else was seeing?  
A part of him was stopping Seugkwan from just let it go and kiss the man already, that same part that was so fucking hurt again.  
But another part of him just wanted to scream “to hell with this angsty shit” and honestly speaking, Seungkwan had always been more impulsive when moved by determination.

Seungkwan dragged his feet towards the bed, and to Hansol's surprise, climbed on top of Hansol's side of the bed, Seungkwan's body hovering over him.  
"My sisters asked me about you today" Seungkwan whispered.  
In the dim light of the bedside lamp painted soft shadows on Hansol’s face, it made his jaw look softer, it made his eyes gleam, pure honey shining underneath long eyelashes. It was mesmerizing, really.  
His eyes moved to Seungkwan’s lips, it was a fast gesture, blink or you’ll miss it type of thing, but Seungkwan’s eyes were on him, he saw. But said nothing about it. Not yet.

It took Hansol some time to process what he was being told.  
"The-They did?" He asked, his voice was breathless.  
Seungkwan nodded.  
Silence.  
They looked at each other in the eyes, not really knowing what to say.  
“... Did you drink?” Hansol asked, his hands were over Seungkwan’s shoulders, almost touching him.  
“I did, but I’m ok”  
Hansol laughed, it was a carefree sound, and it was an incredulous kind of laugh. As if he didn’t believe him.

Who could blame him? Seungkwan had been prickly and evasive with him, of course he would be surprised.  
“Did you?” Seungkwan asked.  
Hansol shook his head.

Oh well…

He took one of Hansol’s hands and brought it to his face, his hand was warm, and Seungkwan leaned into it, closing his eyes.  
Being with Hansol felt so calming, so… natural.  
“Seungkwan” Hansol whispered, he nodded in sign that he was listening.  
“Is it bad if I want to kiss you right now?”  
Seungkwan shook his head.  
“No” he whispered back. Silence again.

“Kiss me”  
Hansol didn’t let him repeat himself.  
It was shy at first, just a touch of lips, barely there. Seungkwan closed his eyes.

It had been a long time since he kissed someone, and now… It felt as if he had breathed in for the first time in a year.

Hansol held his shoulders, making his body collapse on top of Hansol’s, and the kiss deepened.

Hansol tasted like mint and the sweetest hint of plums. They deepened the kiss, Hansol’s hands moved to Seungkwan’s hair, on his back, on his neck, his hands were everywhere, as if he could not get enough of him. As if he wanted to hold him and not let go.

Seungkwan was just as desperate.

They rolled over, Hansol was on top now, holding Seungkwan’s face like his life depended on it. And Seunkwan was drunk, drunk on the feeling of it, drunk on the heat, drunk on Hansol.

When they separated, they both looked debauched in different ways.  
Hansol was looking like a hurricane had passed over him, and it probably was how he felt right that second, with his hair tousled all over the place and his lips red and almost bruised, the tips of his ears were red. He looked at Seungkwan as if he wanted… him.

And it hit Seungkwan, that it didn’t look any different from how he had been looking at him those days. He only had been so blind to it for that long.

Even before the marriage.

That stare was there when they were in Joshua’s birthday party. When he sang at the karaoke and everyone was cheering him on once he was done. It was there, painted over Hansol’s eyes, painted over his lips and his smile.

“I am an idiot,” he muttered. Hasol looked at him confused, then laughed, lightly.

He then kissed his forehead, a sweet gesture.

“Even though I want to continue, you are still technically drunk”  
Seungkwan pouted, he could not believe the words he was hearing “Are you serious?”

“Yeah” Hansol winked, then rolled away from Seungkwan’s body, landing on his side of the bed once again.

Well, he had all of the next day to make up for that, he thought, getting up, in the direction of the bathroom.

When he got back Hansol was already asleep, something told him that he had been waiting for Seungkwan to come back.

He must have been tired, he thought, lying down beside him. Hansol made a tiny sound, when Seungkwan scooted closer, and just when he thought he was going to just lie down beside him, Hansol hugged him closer, engulfing him in warm arms again.

It felt nice, for once, it felt as if he was meant to be there.

They fell asleep like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the support! ❤️ I took a long while to write this, I must admit I haven’t been on my best mental state these two weeks, stress from work and stress from this pandemic and homesickness can do wonders if I am not being careful. And for that I haven’t been able to write as much as I did before. But today is another day and I feel better in many ways!
> 
> So... in short I hope you enjoyed 😭❤️
> 
> And sorry for the late late update (;^;)/


	5. Day 4 + Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo shows up, Hansol finds out something, Seungkwan finds out too late what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a twt account now! @Paindepice_SV7   
> follow me if you want to scream at me to hurry up and write or if u want to talk about SVT!

When he woke it was abrupt and not the kind of waking up he was used to for the last few days, also Hansol was not there, and his phone was ringing like there was no tomorrow.  
Immediately put in a horrible mood, Seungkwan answered with the most annoyed tone he could come up with.  
“Yeah?”  
“Oh sleeping beauty is awake now!” Jin-Seol’s voice came through. Seungkwan passed a hand in front of his face, a big headache already forming in the back of his head, pulsing right behind his eyes.  
“What?” He hissed.  
On the other room the sound of the shower turning off made Seungkwan notice that Hansol was most probably there.  
He quickly checked the hour, 6:50, jesus.  
“Get ready quickly, you have to go get Wonwoo from the airport”  
If the news of Wonwoo going to the wedding weren’t enough to wake him up completely, the sight of Hansol coming out of the bathroom with only a towel to cover his body did the trick.  
“Uh…”  
“Good morning!” Hansol beamed at him as if he wasn’t half-naked in from of Seungkwan.  
“Hey! Move on or I come up there and kick you out of the bedroom! You have ten minutes!” Jin-Seol screamed from the other side of the phone.  
“Jeez Noona, you don’t have to scream” Seungkwan screamed back.  
“Move your gigantic ass Seungkwan! Or so help me god!”  
She hung up. 

Hansol looked at him amused “Your sister?”  
“Yeah, we have to go to the airport” Seungkwan answered after jumping off the bed.  
At Hansol’s confused expression Seungkwan stopped on his tracks “So-Jeong wants us to go get Wonwoo”  
“Who?”  
“Childhood friend” Seungkwan stopped right in front of Hansol “Now if you will excuse me I have to go get ready”  
Hansol smirked, moved his hand to hold one of Seungkwan’s, and then gently pulled him closer until their chests were flush against each other.  
Seungkwan smiled, putting his arms around his neck, it felt natural, it felt right.  
“I’m sorry, I think I forgot something”  
Seungkwan looked surprised for a moment “What is it?”  
Hansol smiled even more, kissing him breathless a second later.  
Seungkwan was speechless for the first time in his life, looking at Hansol with a lost gaze.  
“I’m sorry, did I overstep?” Hansol’s eyebrows knitted, clearly worried about the absence of Seungkwan’s reaction. Cute.  
“You? Overstep? If that is overstepping, please never hesitate on doing so” Hansol smiled at that, brightly. Jesus, what did he do to deserve that.  
Seungkwan could not resist kissing him again, nor keeping his hands to himself, nor deepening the kiss to a point where both were breathless and hot, and pretty much to the point of no return.

Before he noticed it they were both on the bed making out like there was no tomorrow. Things definitely got out of hand.  
His phone ringed one last dangerous time, and Seungkwan had to remember about his sister’s threat, and use all of the strength in his body to stop and gently push Hansol away from him.  
The look of confusion in Hansol’s eyes made Seungkwan question his decision right away.

“I would love to keep this going but my sister is one step away from killing both of us if we don’t hurry”  
At that Hansol seemed to understand, immediately moving his hands away from his back, luckily for both of them the towel he had around his waist was still in its place when they sat up on the bed.  
“I’m going to…” Seungkwan stood up, moving awkwardly towards the bathroom door again “to take a shower… I’ll be back. Get ready.”  
Hansol nodded, himself sitting on the bed, looking at Seungkwan with a mix of fondness and embarrassment.  
Charming.  
Seungkwan closed the door and took one deep breath before getting ready.

***

“I didn’t know you had a driving license” Seungkwan looked at Hansol from the passenger’s seat, the car was only ten minutes away from home and in the direction of the airport. In the middle of them both Hansol’s phone was giving him the directions needed to get there.  
“Well, aren’t you glad I do?” Hansol answered. Jin-Seol had insisted that the both of them would go get Wonwoo, not because she was having the biggest hangover ever, not at all...  
“I am… Sorry again, my sister can be kind of…”  
“Stubborn?” Hansol looked at Seungkwan with the tail of his eye, not really looking away from the street.  
“Yeah…”  
“It’s ok, I’m sure it runs in the family” Seungkwan scoffed at Hansol’s joke.  
“In any case… About this morning and last night…” Seungkwan looked out of the window, before pressing his lips and clearing his throat, damn, he never really was shy about saying what he thought, but with Hansol all of his boldness seemed to straight up fly out of the window.  
“Yes?” Hansol looked hyper aware of what Seungkwan was going to say.  
“Uh, I just- I hope I didn’t come out as too aggressive or anything of the sort. I know I can be sometimes and you can totally stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable an-“  
“Seungkwan, it’s ok, I would have stopped you if I didn’t want this too… Also I asked you if I could kiss you” Hansol looked at him for a second, the smile on his lips was still there, but the shadow of something like worry flashed on his expression once he saw Seungkwan.  
“Yeah, well, I just wanted to be clear…” Seungkwan huffed embarrassed.

Hansol hummed, and the conversation kind of died down there. Seungkwan was not sure if he wanted to continue, but the silence didn’t seem to hint at any awkwardness between them. At least from Seungkwan’s perspective. 

So he just enjoyed the rest of the ride, looking out of the window.

For someone that never have been to Jeju, Hansol navigated pretty well, thanks to his phone’s navigator, clearly. Still it was impressive how he managed to follow through cleanly.  
He even managed to find a spot in the parking lot, talk about luck.

Seungkwan stretched, while Hansol took his phone and turned the engine off.  
He looked at the hour, they were early which was good, considering how little notice they had from Jin-Seol.  
“Seungkwan” Hansol said, his voice stopping him from opening the door.  
“Yeah?” Seungkwan turned around only to find Hansol right in front of his face, he was sure his legs were pressed uncomfortably on the shift gear, considering his position, but he gave that very little worry.

“Let’s talk” he said, and Seungkwan was about to answer with a ‘maybe it’s not the right moment’, really he was about to do it, but as soon as he opened his mouth, the seat gave in and the back of it went all the way down.

Seungkwan yelped, his back following the seat, his hands grasped at whatever was in his range, which was the car door and Hansol’s shirt.  
“What the hell!” He exclaimed once he looked up at Hansol.  
“Your sister complained about the seat lever being very sensitive the other day” Hansol said, as if that was some kind of explanation to the heart attack it gave him, he them climbed on Seungkwan’s lap.

At that his brain gave up, absolutely forgetting why he was angry.

“W-what… We are not having sex in my mom’s car!” He managed to say after a few seconds of buffering. Hansol laughed “Oh, so that’s what you think we were going to do?”  
Seungkwan’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red “Shut up!”  
Hansol laughed again, fully leaning on Seungkwan now.  
“Listen, I wanted to make something clear too”  
“Yeah? What?” Seungkwan asked, not breathy at all, no sir.  
“I like you, Boo Seungkwan” he blinked  
“Yeah well, that… I noticed that already” Seungkwan huffed, amused at how Hansol looked at him.  
He put a hand on his cheek “It took me some time to notice it but… I like you too”  
Hansol smiled brightly at that, then giggled, it was the most adorable sound Seungkwan had ever heard, he wanted to bottle it up and keep it close to his chest.  
“We probably should get going now…” Hansol muttered, looking out of the car window, Seungkwan agreed but pulled him down for one more kiss.

Besides the embarrassment of having to endure the stares of the people that were passing through the parking lot when they both got out of the car, the morning went by pretty smoothly.

Seungkwan was now chewing on a croissant, sitting beside Hansol, both of them waiting for Wonwoo to appear.  
“You said he’s studying to become a lawyer?” Hansol asked.  
“Yes, I can’t believe he managed to spare some time for this event, actually” as Seungkwan ate the last bite of his impromptu breakfast, Wonwoo appeared, just one backpack on his person and with the air of someone that needed a few hours of sleep.

Seungkwan waved and then ran in his direction, Wonwoo caught him with open arms and a tight hug. It was nice, they both giggled and smiled at each other.

“It’s so nice to see you again,” Wonwoo said, once they separated. He looked just as the last time Seungkwan saw him, maybe just a little bit taller, but nothing else. His hair was slightly longer too and he had a different pair of eyeglasses, instead of a heavy rim, they had thin rims and they were circular. They fit his face better.  
“It has been what? Almost a year?” Seungkwan continued, Hansol was right by his side, looking curiously between the two of them.  
Wonwoo paused, something in his smile slightly shifted, but then he answered “Yeah, a year and a half”  
“You missed so much stuff! You kinda became a hermit, what happened?”  
“I just… I was busy with school, and I totally forgot to give you my phone number when I left”  
“Well… I don’t know if you know it, but I broke up with Mingyu… He is my new boyfriend, Hansol” Wonwoo looked at Hansol, not at all surprised about the news.  
They shook hands, and while Hansol was mostly quiet for the rest of the way back, Seungkwan and Wonwoo talked a lot. Wonwoo wasn’t really the type to socialize much, and Hansol seemed to be in his own mind for much if the ride, just adding insight or one or two words here and there.  
All in all Seungkwan tried his best to make them both feel comfortable.  
But he was lying if he said that he felt like he was trying too much.  
***

Wonwoo really didn’t get much time to relax once he got to Jeju, while he was looking like he didn’t sleep at all the night before, Jin-Seol and So-Jeong were so happy to see him that they ended up smothering him in hugs and questions.  
It was obvious that they both missed him dearly, since he went full on incommunicado with all of them.  
That aside, they still had one event before the day of the wedding. And the weather helped largely with where they were supposed to go. 

For what Seungkwan knew they were only going to the beach, extremely out of place with where they have been going those days, but apparently it was just a private thing, and it was a nice day to do that.  
Also So-Jeong was starting to get extremely anxious with how much money they were spending on the pre-celebrations.

So beach it was.

It was a small thing, a nice day out at the beach with food and the closest friends and family members to participate, so Seungkwan didn’t know why he was so surprised to see Mingyu and Jihoon pull up at the little get-together. 

Wonwoo seemed surprised. And Mingyu looked extremely surprised to see Wonwoo too. Stuttering and poiting in their general direction, before straightening himself and say hi.  
Jihoon and Hansol were just… waving back at each other, being the darlings they were and realizing that, yes, it was another one of those days where Mingyu and Seungkwan would have to ignore the other.

What made Seungkwan think, was that, even though Wonwoo was a childhood friend of both Seungkwan and Mingyu, he definitely prefered to hang out with Mingyu, it had always been like that, but not that day, Wonwoo was just, attached to Seungkwan and Hansol, absolutely deterred in ignoring the hell out of Mingyu.  
Seungkwan wondered if his sisters told him what happened, if Wonwoo was pissed at Mingyu for what he did, and for a second, Seungkwan felt like everything in the universe was finally in its place.

Inner peace at last, he thought.

The afternoon and the evening went by slowly, lethargically, everyone seemed to enjoy their day at the beach, between eating and swimming and playing cards, it almost felt to Seungkwan like he was in high school all over again, his sisters by his side, someone that loved him again, it was great. It felt… soft, like an old page, dusty and warm, consumed by the sunlight. It was nice, to feel like everything was fine.

Sure he still needed to interact a minimum with Mingyu, and it still stung, his curiosity still was there, washing over him once in every while, wondering exactly what was it that Mingyu wanted to tell him the other day.

If everything went right, he wouldn’t have to know, he didn’t want to anymore. He was fine for once. Finally he didn’t care, it was great, it felt liberating.

And then he would look at Hansol and he would be happy, because even though it was totally unplanned, he loved that Hansol made him not care anymore. It was great.

“I need to take something from the car,” Wonwoo whispered in his ear, some of the groom’s friends were sitting with Seungkwan and Hansol, playing cards.  
“Ah, Jin-Seol has the keys, you can ask her” he answered back. Wonwoo nodded, heading toward where his sister was.  
He did not notice Mingyu following Wonwoo towards the parking lot once he got the keys, no one really did.

“Ah!” Hansol exclaimed “I think I forgot my phone in the car too”  
“How do you forget your own phone in the car?” Seungkwan huffed, eyeing Hansol.  
“Well in my defense I was having a great time” Hansol answered back “Watch my cards?”  
“Sure, Wonwoo should have the keys, so just meet him up there”  
Hansol nodded once, then moved toward the parking lot.

Seungkwan played for a bit more, not thinking about anything at the moment, his guard was low and he did not need to be on the defensive anymore, it was exhausting, and he was having a good time.

Jin-Seol sat by his side, exclaiming that she had a great poker face and taking Hansol’s cards and they played a little bit more.

It took a long time for Hansol to find his own phone, and when he came back he seemed to struggle with something.  
It was as if he wanted to say something to Seungkwan the second he saw him, but he could not for the life of him decide if he really wanted to tell him whatever it was.

Seungkwan caught up on it immediately, his eyebrows already angling in a worried expression “Is everything alright?” He asked. The whole table looked at Hansol, and while he seemed to still be debating in his head, he simply smiled and shook his head.  
“It’s nothing”  
***

The night slowly creeped up on them, the air started to become colder, and just when the sunset was already ending, coloring the sky from a pink hue to purples and deep blues, everyone agreed on packing everything up.  
It was going to be a big day, and everyone needed rest.  
So Seungkwan could understand why everyone was so quiet in the car. His sister and mother absolutely battered, Seungkwan was tired too, while Hansol seemed to still be mulling over something, looking out of the window and just thinking.

It was a bit scary to Seungkwan, it was a bit too close to how Mingyu was behaving before he broke up with him.  
But Hansol seemed to snap out of it quickly every time, holding Seungkwan’s hand with the strongest and warmest grip he could. It was reassuring, but at the same time it was terrifying.

Wonwoo on the other side just slept until they got home. Then moved slowly towards his assigned room, whispering goodnights to everyone.  
Seungkwan could not blame him, he did look tired.

Seungkwan was tired when they got to their own room, but still he wanted to ask Hansol if something was wrong.  
“It’s ok, just a lot going through my mind right now” he answered.  
“Do you care sharing with me your worries”  
A smile spread slowly on Hansol’s tired expression, as if he almost didn’t want it to come out but he gave up halfway there.  
He caressed Seungkwan’s cheek, a comforting and soft gesture, but his eyes still held some kind of restraint to them.

Seungkwan did not press on that.  
***

The day of the wedding was… a mess, Seungkwan and Hansol had to wake up early, and while Hansol was ushered quickly to get dressed somewhere where he was not in the way of So-Jeong and Jin-Seol’s methodic planning, Seungkwan was allowed to stay, just because his own mother vouched for him.  
Seungkwan mouthed a “Sorry” before Hansol got kicked out of the second floor, him and Wonwoo confined to the first floor.

So that was the tale of how Seungkwan was now with his best formal dress on, holding his sister’s veil, waiting for her to get dressed in her own room. The groom was somewhere on the first floor with Hansol and Wonwoo.  
“By the way you drunkenly professed your love for me the other day, you even cried” Seungkwan said, looking in Jin-Seol’s direction. She was putting some lip gloss, her own dress giving her an air of elegance and sobriety.  
“I don’t cry when I’m drunk,” she mumbled.  
Seungkwan pursed his lips “Well you still professed your love for me”  
Jin-Seol laughed at that. 

It was nice to have friendly banter like that, it helped Seungkwan keep things out of his head, and it also gave him a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest.

So-Jeong came out, their mom right behind her, the dress wasn’t big and puffy, but it still gave her a beautiful aura around her.  
Both Seungkwan and Jin-Seol gasped, absolutely astounded.  
He almost lost grip on the veil between his hands.  
So-Jeong laughed at their expression, snatching the veil from Seungkwan’s hands.  
“Come on you two, I have a man to marry today” she said, putting the delicate material on her head.

Going downstairs was a hassle and a half, they were very narrow and So-Jeong had to walk down very slowly.  
The dress was long so she had to hold it up so that she didn’t accidentally trip.

They could say it was worth it once they saw the groom downstairs, he looked at her like he was going to faint any second, but also like he had seen So-Jeong for the first time right that moment.

It was sweet, Seungkwan smiled at them.

“Do you believe in marriage?” Hansol whispered to him once they were in the wedding hall, sitting one beside the other.  
“I do” Seungkwan answered, his eyes not leaving his sister’s back “But I do find it quite stressful”  
“I think the stress is worth the final prize” Hansol managed to say, before Seungkwan’s mom hushed them both.  
Seungkwan tried to keep a smile from forming on his lips.

***

It was the second time Seungkwan found himself alone with Mingyu in a public restroom. It had nothing to do with Seungkwan, but instead it was the other man’s fault for following him.

Seungkwan sighed just as Mingyu started talking.

“Listen, I know I have been a pain in the ass… but we need to talk”  
Seungkwan crossed his arms “There is really nothing for us to talk about”  
Mingyu shook his head, walking closer “There is, and it’s unfair to you not to tell what has been going on”  
At that Seungkwan looked at him with a wary expression.  
He thought it was about how shitty Mingyu’s break-up line had been, but clearly that was not the case.  
Seungkwan laughed nervously, trying to stop Mingyu from saying more  
“Listen, I understand these have been stressful days for all of us…”  
“No, no, you don’t- Goddamit Seungkwan! Will you ever let me speak?” Mingyu got nervous again, his tone of voice already rising, and echoing in the empty restroom. 

What the hell.

“I am letting you speak! You- You have always been like this! Whatever I do I will end up getting on your nerves! How am I supposed to-“  
“No! Don’t say that right now! You know damn well why we didn’t work out! As if you were not trying to blind yourself and pretend like you never did something wrong!” Mingyu pointed in Seungkwan direction, scowling.

“Excuse me? You were the one that got distant and did not even try to communicate anymore! Are we even talking about the same relationship here? If only you stopped for one second and just talked to me for once in your life!” It was frustrating how Mingyu was trying to pin everything on Seungkwan’s back now.

“You don’t get to say that and pretend like I haven’t been trying to talk to you! Is almost as if you have been running away from this confrontation! You hid away in Seoul and ran away from your own family!”  
“There is no point in talking when you already did the damage, what the hell Mingyu!”  
Seungkwan’s voice now was raised, his eardrums were ringing from how much blood was circulating in his face, his cheeks were on fire tingling and hot with rage.  
Mingyu looked as frustrated as him.

Seungkwan took one steading breath, he wanted to be the better one, to just stop with that endless and useless circle of blaming each other.  
“I don’t care, I don’t care anymore, let’s just end i-“  
“I cheated on you” Mingyu blurted, his hands were curled into fists and he was shaking like a leaf.  
Seungkwan took one step back, he physically recoiled like he had been slapped.  
“W-What?”  
“I cheated on you… that’s why I broke up with you”  
Seungkwan blinked, stared blankly at Mingyu for a few seconds then whispered a barely audible “Ah, I see…”  
He felt numb, hardly registering what he was doing, he recalled moving away from Mingyu, he recalled him calling his name when he closed the restroom door.

Outside of that room everyone was laughing, smiling, dancing, Seungkwan considered to just drown into it, to go to his sister and pretend everything was alright… But he immediately bumped into Wonwoo.

“Seungkwan?” His voice came through the ringing in his ears, Seungkwan moved away from his grasp, but Wonwoo followed his movements.  
“Seungkwan?” he asked more urgently, Seungkwan looked up and that was all Wonwoo needed to see.  
“Oh shit… He told you” 

Ah… Of course Wonwoo would know, what a stupid asumption to think that Seungkwan was not the only one not to know…

“I-I am so sorry… I felt so bad after...” of course Mingyu telling him what happened wasn’t going to be the only thing he had to know…  
Then his brain started elaborating what Wonwoo was saying  
“I know it was shitty for me to hide away from you, but I felt so bad… I could not…” 

What was Wonwoo saying?

Him going into hermit mode was not a coincidence, nor the fact that he never made himself be seen by Seungkwan in that last year…

Seungkwan lifted one finger towards him “You… He cheated on me with you, didn’t he?” He hoped to be wrong, but he knew in his core that it was not the case.  
Wonwoo stopped rambling, looked at Seungkwan with big terrified eyes, then…

“... Yes…” he answered.

Seungkwan nodded, shaking away Wonwoo’s hands off his shoulders. “I’m so sorry” was the last thing heard from him before Seungkwan walked away.

Air, he needed air.

The third time he heard someone call his name, Seungkwan was walking in the big green area behind the venue. He didn’t even notice he had walked so much until he turned around to see who was calling him.  
Hansol was running up to him, when he caught up to him he put his hands on his knees and took one big breath.  
“Must have been very uncomfortable to run in those shoes” Seungkwan heard himself say.  
Hansol looked up at him, worry painted in his face. “What’s wrong?” He walked closer, until Seungkwan could smell the cologne he was wearing. It was subtle, just a hint of it, so small he could not make out what was it exactly.

“I… I needed to walk for a bit” Seungkwan said, he instantly leaned against Hansol, his arms opened, they welcomed him and Seungkwan felt better.  
Hansol hugged him tightly.  
It was weird, all of those days it had been so easy to cry for him, but now, when he really needed to, he could not.

He just felt empty.

“What happened?” Hansol asked again.  
“Mingyu… He told me he cheated on me, that’s it”  
Hansol stopped rubbing his back at that.  
“Seungkwan…” Hansol moved him gently away from the hug.  
Seungkwan looked up at Hansol. “I knew that already”  
Seungkwan groaned, all of the rage and sadness immediately exploding with that single phrase.

“This has to be a joke! Did everyone know besides me? How did you even know?”  
Hansol was about to answer, but Seungkwan interrupted him, “No! Don’t tell me, I know, this is all a very sick joke you all have been playing on me! Clearly! Did someone pay you?”  
Hansol looked extremely heart-broken at that.  
“Seungkwan-“  
“No shut up, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. The week is over, you don’t have to pretend you care about me anymore. Get out of my sight.”  
Hansol let him finish, then calmly looked at him, his face was blank, not letting Seungkwan figure out what was going through his head.  
“Is that what you really want?”

No.

“Yes”

Hansol nodded, licked his lips, he looked at Seungkwan one more time before leaving.

He was alone, yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done!!!!!! One more chapter and this is over! 
> 
> I should not be exited considering what turn this fic has taken, but I am bc I have been planning on this since I started writing this fic and now I am happy I got there!
> 
> Also sorry for the looong wait, I had to move and I’ve had some struggles yet again, but I’m glad I managed to write while I was buried between moving boxes and in big ol’ empty room that needs all of its essentials! It really gave me something to do that wasn’t worrying about a new closet or a new bed or what color the new house’s walls will be!
> 
> Thank you so much for the kind words in the last chapter’s comments, I treasure so much how kind you guys have been to me ;; ❤️  
> I’ll see you in the next and last chapter!


	6. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End.

Back in Seoul, Seokmin was the one that came for him. He embraced Seungkwan in the tighest, warmest hug he could, and dragged him away from the airport as soon as he touched the ground. Seokmin didn’t seem to go too deep into what happened with Hansol, far more interested in what Mingyu confessed to him, which was devastating news on their own.

The flight was lonely, Hansol managed to leave even before Seungkwan could get to his mom’s house, with Jin Seol as his accomplice, having given him a ride to the airport herself. 

It wasn’t hard to hide away back in Seoul, he and Hansol barely shared any common grounds on campus, both of them studying very different things.   
What was hard to dodge was Hansol’s friends, who suddenly seemed to be very chummy and close with Jeonghan, Seokmin, and Sooyoung, dropping by to say hi, to drop a book during their study sessions, to sit with them while they were eating. Seungkwan could see the pattern, but said nothing, choosing to drop an excuse to get away and leave. Hansol never truly looked for him physically, Seungkwan never had to hide or skip class because suddenly there was someone he didn’t want to see out of every one of his classes.  
But he did try to reach out in the second-best way he knew.

Hansol’s text messages were an amalgamation of “I hope you are ok today” to “Please reach out to me when you’re ready” and “I’m very sorry”. They were all never intrusive, never pushy. Just there, Hansol only offered to talk, but never really quite expected an answer, nor expected Seungkwan to accept his apologies.   
Whether he sent his friends to look on Seungkwan for him, it wasn’t very clear to him. 

A week passed with that same predicament when Seungkwan received a call from a number that was not saved in his contact list.

“Hello?” He answered, clutching the phone between his cheek and his shoulder while trying to lazily write down something, the blinds in his room were down, and while he was not considered to be the tidiest person ever, his room was in the worst mess he had ever seen since he broke up with Mingyu.  
“... Seungkwan” Wonwoo’s voice came through. Seungkwan froze, dropped his pen on the desk, and stood up, suddenly very alert.  
“What do you want?” he hissed.  
“I… I know I messed up, but can we talk?” Wonwoo’s voice sounded so distant and broken, a perfect reflection of how Seungkwan had been feeling in the last week.  
Seungkwan sighed. Even though he didn’t want to be exposed to whatever it was that happened between Mingyu and Wonwoo, he felt like he needed some closure, at least from Wonwoo.  
“Why? Is it because you want to feel less shitty about yourself if I accept your apologies?” Seungkwan sneered, rage boiling low in his gut, choking out the words.  
“No… I genuinely feel bad, that is why… Why I couldn’t see you anymore once you guys broke up…”  
“So what? You stopped once you realized your acts had a consequence, do you want a medal for that?” Seungkwan laughed, no hilarity in his voice, just sadness.  
“No… I- Let’s meet, please. I feel like this should happen face to face”

Seungkwan considered the option of saying no, it was so simple to just ignore Hansol, it was incredibly easy to not think about what Mingyu told him, but he needed to get to the end of things.   
Seungkwan accepted, gave Wonwoo an hour and a place, and closed the call.

It could be a bad decision, maybe the worst, considering the state he was in when Mingyu dropped the whole bomb on his lap, but… He had enough time to process what happened, and he was sure he could have handled whatever Wonwoo had to tell him.

***

Seungkwan held the cup in his hands as strongly as he could, the ice in it already half-melted. Wonwoo was sitting right in front of him, the cup in front of him was empty.

“And what? You just felt like stabbing me in the back was the best choice?” Seungkwan asked.  
Wonwoo hesitated for a second, then sighed “It happened all progressively, we both knew that it was wrong but… I guess that didn’t really stop us from doing it. I’m so sorry Seungkwan…”  
“Did you ever stop to think about… about the damage it was going to cause me?”   
“Yes… Every single time” Wonwoo covered his face “I’m so sorry, there are no actions or words that could make this situation feel any better. And I know this is not going to make you trust me ever again but…”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seungkwan asked  
“I was going to, but… It didn’t feel right to tell you the day of your sister’s wedding”  
It felt right to Mingyu somehow… If he wasn’t emotionally distraught by what he told him, Seungkwan would have punched him for just thinking it was the right time and place, but he didn’t and now he had to live with the regret of not punching him in the face.  
“I’m glad you found someone better than Mingyu…” Ah… There it was, the reminder that besides him, and his friends, everyone else expected Hansol to be still his boyfriend…

Seungkwan looked at his cup “I don’t… I’m not with Hansol… anymore”  
Wonwoo looked up at him “Why?”   
“That’s nothing of your concern” Seungkwan snapped.  
“You’re right… I have nothing to do with it, just… I thought you guys made a nice couple...” He added, then sighed. “I’m not going to steal any more of your time, thanks for listening Seungkwan. I hope you have a nice life”  
“Wonwoo…” Seungkwan said before he could get up.  
“Yes?”  
“You’re an asshole,” Seungkwan said. Wonwoo nodded at that, acknowledging that after that day, they were not going to see each other anymore, ever again.

And with that Woonwo walked out, leaving Seungkwan alone.

It did feel depressing how much Seungkwan had given out to others, it felt unfair how little he had received back from them, especially people that he considered friends… 

He covered his face, it was not the time to cry, but the tears would not stop. It was all too much. And now, he was crying in a bar full of people, alone.

“Seungkwan?” He would have recognized that voice amongst anyone, yet he did not raise his face. A hand gently touched his shoulder “Seungkwan…”  
He really did not want Hansol to see him cry like that.  
“Go away…” Seungkwan croaked at him from underneath his hands.  
“... You seem to need someone to cry on, let me be that and then you can kick me out if you want and never talk to me again, but for now, let me do this for you, please”  
Seungkwan let Hansol sit right beside him, carefully pry Seunkgwan’s hands off his face.  
His cheeks felt blotchy, overheated, and wet from the tears, he was sure he looked like a mess, but Hansol smiled gently at him as if it didn't matter.

Seungkwan clung to him, cried some more on his shoulder, while Hansol rubbed his back.  
"I'm so sorry" Seungkwan whimpered, noticing how the shoulder of Hansol's shirt was wet.  
"It's ok," Hansol whispered, offered him a napkin, and put some distance between the two of them.

Seungkwan cleaned his face, while Hansol looked torn between staying there and going away, unsure as to how Seungkwan would react.  
"Uhm… It's best if I go now…" Hansol concluded, just about to get up.

Seungkwan didn’t want him to go, not yet. He did not want to talk about what happened at the wedding, either. He just wanted Hansol to be there. So he stopped him.  
“I don’t want you to go,” he said, not looking at him.  
Hansol stilled, he could see the gears turning in his head, but he seemed to be ok with staying, so he did, he sat down with Seungkwan and waited.  
“What were you doing here?” Seungkwan asked  
“I work here… It’s a nice place, and I like their coffee, so I come back as a customer at times” Hansol explained  
Seungkwan could imagine him dressed in the coffee shop uniform, smiling at clients, it was cute. Hansol was cute.  
“I see…” Seungkwan said.  
Hansol hummed, it was awkward, for sure, and Seungkwan was looking for ways to make it less weird and more comfortable, but he couldn’t find much.

He tried to hold his hand underneath the table, a sign that they were going to talk about things, but not just yet. That they were ok for the moment.  
Hansol held his hand back, and Seungkwan smiled, it was fine.

*

“I feel like we haven’t talked much about ourselves in Jeju,” Hansol said, the park they were sitting at was almost dark, the sun was setting, shrouding everything in red hues. It wasn’t like in Jeju, but it looked nice nonetheless.  
Seungkwan was still holding his hand.  
“Ah… Well, I have three friends…”  
Hansol laughed “That I do know”  
Seungkwan smirked “Well… I really like singing”  
Hansol hummed, he was listening. They were both sitting on a bench, the breeze was starting to be just slightly colder now, but not by much, it was still fine to be out and about at that hour.   
“I like girl groups, I love the Wonder Girls, they are my favorite group” he felt like a child for talking about what he liked or not, but Hansol was still there, he was listening, not mocking him or anything.  
“What do you like? What kind of music do you listen to?” He asked  
“I like hip hop, but I can branch out. For starters I’m curious about the Wonder Girls” Hansol smiled.  
“I feel like… If we didn’t meet at Joshua’s birthday… We could still have been strangers”  
“Do you want us to be strangers?” That was such a serious question, Hansol was looking at him like he wanted a sincere answer.  
“No” Seungkwan didn’t hesitate “I am glad we met, I am just sorry…” for the rest. He didn’t add that, hopeful that Hansol would understand.  
Hansol looked at him confused, but he didn’t pry. He never did.

“Tell me something,” Hansol asked “Tell me… when did you know… That you liked me?”   
Seungkwan blushed, that was a very direct thing to ask.  
“Ah…” he looked up, the sky was turning blue by now, the sun was disappearing between the buildings of Seoul, it was almost night.  
“I think… it was gradual, there isn’t a particular moment, I just… I guess I was in denial for most of it. But-“ he strengthened his grip on Hansol’s hand “- I am not anymore, I do like you, a lot”   
He looked at Hansol, who was smiling again.  
“What about you?”  
“What?” Hansol asked  
“When did you know that you liked me?”  
Hansol sat up, looked at the sun setting, then at Seungkwan “I think… for the first moment we saw each other”   
Seungkwan closed his eyes, covered his face with his hand “Why must you be so cheesy” he muttered  
Hansol laughed “Well, to be exact, it was when I heard you sing”   
Ah, the karaoke, yes, he did remember. “I was meaning to tell you, but you were kind of wasted, and just started rambling about your ex and-“ Seungkwan covered his mouth “Yes I do remember that part…” he said, embarrassed.

Hansol laughed one last time. Then they both looked in front of them.  
The silence was fine, but it felt stilted like there was something hanging there.  
“We should probably talk about what happened,” Seungkwan said  
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to”   
Seungkwan shook his head “I want to”  
“Then… I’ll tell you why I knew” Hansol whispered  
Seungkwan was ready to listen, in his mind, he was giving him another chance to explain himself. They both needed this closure, even if it felt like a minor one, considered the things that happened.

“When I went up to get my phone, Mingyu and Wonwoo were discussing, I didn’t get much of what they were saying, because they were in the middle of it when I interrupted them. But what I did get was that Mingyu wanted to tell you, and Wonwoo was adamant in not telling you, not just yet, that he was there because he knew Mingyu would have done something like that in a day like your sister’s wedding”   
Seungkwan groaned, they both were idiots, he could not believe that he actually was friends with them and he even was in love with one of them. God.  
“When they saw me Mingyu got nervous, muttered something, and then left. Wonwoo was more open to me, I did tell him that it was not necessary, that I just came back because I needed my phone, that I really did not mean to intrude. He just… I think he needed to talk to someone, so he told me”   
Seungkwan sighed, that was just so stupid of them, the way they just needed to tell him because if not their conscience was not going to feel better. Stupid.  
“I’m sorry for not telling you right away,” Hansol said, when Seungkwan turned his way he could see how much he meant it. He had been running away from the pain for so long, first with Mingyu, then his family, now with Hansol, things wouldn’t get better right away, he knew.   
But he could hope that at least with Hansol things would be different, that maybe he could rely on someone else, and not push down his feelings anymore.

“I’m sorry for driving you away, I overreacted, and I see that now…” Seungkwan did owe him those apologies at least.   
“You don’t have to say sorry for that, I handled that situation badly, and it’s good that you reacted the way you did, it’s normal, it’s ok” Hansol reassured him.

Things were ok, for once things were looking bright again.

For the next few days, Hansol kept his distance, not because Seungkwan pushed him away, but because it was clear to him that Seungkwan needed the space, and still needed some time to think.  
They still talked to each other, texted a lot actually, but physically, Hansol was not there, not if Seungkwan didn’t want him at least.

And then Seungkwan wanted him there always, they would see each other after Hansol’s work, or after Seungkwan’s classes or if their friends wanted to hang out. Slowly Hansol was more and more prominent in Seungkwan’s life.  
It was nice, in the meanwhile, they also got to know more about the other, he got to know that Hansol had a sister too, a younger one. He got to know why Hansol was studying psychology, and Hansol got to know more about him too.  
It felt like dating, just… dating someone that he already kissed and that he already knew liked him. 

It felt less rushed for sure.

When coming back home to their friends, it felt nice to hold hands and smile.   
“Do you think everyone is already there?” Seungkwan asked.  
“Mh… Maybe not yet” Hnasol answered  
“Who will be missing?”  
Hansol snorted “Us?”   
Seungkwan shook his head, Hansol was laughing again, the light from the corridor they were standing at was casting soft shadows on his face. It reminded him of the time they kissed for the first time. It was a nice memory, so Seungkwan reached out to get it back.  
He gently touched Hansol’s cheek, it was cute how he leaned into it, how much he indulged into letting Seungkwan touch him.  
“I’m an idiot,” He said  
“Ah, deja-vu,” Hansol said “Also don’t self-deprecate, you’re not” he added  
“Mh…” Seungkwan said.  
They looked at each other again, both waiting for something to happen, waiting for the other to make the first move, again.

Yet it was Hansol the one that leaned in and started the kiss. 

Seungkwan wasn’t going to say that it felt like in the movies, the earth opened and swallowed them both, that he felt like flying, that the world exploded and they were floating in the universe… Ok, all of those mental images were making him laugh, really. Hansol looked at him confused while he kept giggling to himself.  
“Was I that bad?” he asked  
“I’m sorry… The mental train led me somewhere else. It wasn’t the kiss, the kiss was perfect” Seungkwan leaned in, and pecked on his lips again. Then dragged Hansol away, up the stairs, and in front of the door where the rest of their friends were waiting.

Seungkwan stopped there, took one deep breath, and before opening the door kissed Hansol again.   
It felt right, how their lips softly clashed and moved, how Hansol’s arms wrapped around his body, how they smiled at each other when they stopped kissing.

When they got inside, everyone was there, the sound of their friends' laughs and screams got louder as soon as they opened the door. Seokmin, Jun, and Soonyoung were playing on the couch, screaming at the top of their lungs, Jeonghan and Joshua were talking by the kitchen, waiting for the food to arrive, Seungcheol, Chan, and Minghao were sitting on the floor, all of them on their phones, every once in a while exchanging a few words of conversation, but generally just chilling. 

Holding Hansol’s hand he entered, announcing that the food was there. And everyone almost immediately dropped what they were doing to help set up. 

*

It was late when everyone left, Soonyoung insisting that he and Seokmin were going to stay the night at Jeonghan’s, so for once, Seungkwan was alone with Hansol in the apartment.   
Laying down on his bed he looked at the ceiling, how it was dark but still the lights from the window illuminated enough for him to see.   
“What are you thinking about?” Hansol whispered beside him, he sounded sleepy.  
“At how I feel like I am ok with how things are going”   
“That’s a good sign,” Hansol answered.  
“Why?” Seungkwan said  
“Because I like you and I don’t want to leave your life,” He said, his voice was weaker and weaker by the second.  
“I also don’t want you to leave my life…” Seungkwan looked at Hansol, at his profile in the dark “yet” he added, cheeky. 

Hansol laughed, then fell asleep.   
In the dark Seungkwan thought about a lot. At how his life took a turn the second Mingyu left him, at how he was lucky to have met Hansol.   
He admired in silence Hansol, at his relaxed face while he slept, the sharp features and the soft ones, the long eyelashes, the thin lips. He liked what he was seeing, but he knew there was more to Hansol than his face.   
He loved how he laughed, how he was a big dork, how he never hid who he was in front of anyone, how he softly held Seungkwan’s hand and never let go, he loved… him. The realization came as sudden as a punch to the gut, but it didn’t feel quite like it. It wasn’t painful, it was… good, like a rush of adrenaline.

He loved Hansol! He did, he truly did. 

Seungkwan closed his eyes, and for once, he slept well and was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done!!!!!! I'm sorry for the looooong wait, I hope this was as satisfying of an ending as it was for me ;; I truly truly love this fic and how it was my opening door this side of ao3, and I will miss it dearly, but I am also so happy to finally have put an end to it. ILY all and I am so grateful for the support and comments and kudos, I hope this was a nice ride (;^;) <3 
> 
> Fluffy Verkwan will forever live in heart and soul and GOD I MISS VERKWAN WHY ARE THEY NOT INTERACTING IM SO SAD.
> 
> Follow me on @Paindepice_SV7 for well... I just want Verkwan moots on my twt ;;


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